Sunday, September 23, 2012

SPOILER ALERT: Movie review of Napoleon Dynamite

Hello Blog-readers!

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. Been busy.

So, last time I was thinking about posting, I was thinking, maybe a movie review of Napoleon Dynamite, one of the funniest movies on the planet. And this review might rival the funny-ness, because telling someone about that movie is not easy.

Here goes!

A movie review of Napoleon Dynamite


 So the story is about a guy named Napoleon Dynamite in highschool in the 80's. He's not real popular, he has no weird parents or anything (I actually don't think he has parents at all). He lives with his 32 year old brother and his grandma.

I the beginning of the movie, Napoleon's grandma leaves to go to the sand dunes. While there, she falls and breaks something.

So to keep an eye on Napoleon and Kip(his brother), their Uncle Rico comes to stay for a while.

In school, Napoleon meets a new friend: Pedro, the only boy in school with a moustache(I think that is how that word is spelled)


He also meets a girl named Deb.


So while Kip and Uncle Rico are attempting to make some cash by becoming door to door salesmen, Napoleon is at school with his new friends, hanging out.


Then, the school has a dance. Pedro and Deb decide to go to the dance together, leaving Napoleon with nobody. Pedro suggest that he draws someone a picture as a gift, then he might get a date.

So Napoleon sets his sights on Trisha and sets to work on a drawing of her.


Trisha's mother knows that Napoleon asked her out, so she makes Trisha go with him. When they get to the dance, Napoleon goes off to the bathroom and Trisha sneaks away with her BFF, Summer.  

So Pedro lets Napoleon borrow Deb for a dance or two.

Later, Pedro decides to run for class president.


So Napoleon and Pedro get to work, trying to make sure Pedro beats Summer. 

Meanwhile, Kip's online girlfriend has come to town. Kip is smitten.

Uncle Rico has been making a general nuisance of himself and ruining Napoleon's friendship with Deb. So Deb gets angry at Napoleon and doesn't talk to him for a while.

Whenever it's time for the candidates to give their speeches, Napoleon and Pedro discover they were supposed to have a skit to go along with Pedro's speech, but they have nothing prepared. 

After Summer gives her speech and skit, Pedro comes to the stage.


And Napoleon comes up with a last minute skit. This is Napoleon's skit to save Pedro's political career.

So, then the movie is almost over. Kip leaves town with his girlfried, Lafawnduh (that's how he spells her name).

Napoleon's grandma comes home.

Uncle Rico leaves and returns to his camper, throwing footballs at his camera.

Pedro wins the class election.

And Deb makes up with Napoleon.


So, now you should go watch this movie. 

No, I didn't tell you the whole story.

This movie is the kind of movie you'll just be sitting quietly in a room with other people, minding your own business, when all of a sudden, you'll burst into uncontrollable laughter because you start thinking about 1%. Or children on a school bus. Or a llama. 

Just go watch the movie and you'll understand why.

I would like to say a special thing here about a guy in the sound box. He is awesome and works at a bookstore. He knows who he is. That is all.

Cheers!  








Tuesday, September 18, 2012

The Day After

Hello my darling readers!

Sooooo, if you read my post from last night (or rather, really early this morning, around 12:30ish) then you know I was hoping to go with my dad to work so when he paid the people from UNCHAINED, I might be able to see Neil Gaiman.

Well, I did go with my dad. I didn't see Neil Gaiman.

In fact, I didn't get to see anyone from the tour. The lady we called and were supposed to meet to give the money to ended up being asleep when we called (it was only like 8:30 and the event lasted until pretty late last night)

But even though I was disappointed there, I had a pretty interesting day otherwise.

For starters, have you ever stayed up really late because you just had an exciting event, then hit your bed like a rock after its gotten incredibly late, only to hear your alarm blaring at 6:45 in the morning?

If you haven't, I would say you're lucky, but that probably means you've never had the opportunity to stay out late doing something that you really love.

If you have, then you know how I felt when I was shoveling a bagel into my mouth and rushing out the door at eight this morning.

It usually takes anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour to get from our house to Boone, so we left with plenty of time. Dad was supposed to be there at 9.

We were there at 8:25.

So, we decided to go for coffee, since we both needed a little pick-me-up.

Son's light was closed. One of the town's Conrad's was closed. Doc's coffee is closer to Blowing Rock. Starbuck's isn't that good.

So we decided to go to the second Conrad's in town (we forgot about Stickboy's until we had already bought some). I got a mocha that tasted completely burnt. I'm not sure why I drank almost the whole thing when I kept meaning to throw it away.

After that, we dropped off the money for UNCHAINED and went to Black Bear Books.

All of my friends have told me that the Hunger Games is an excellent story, so I picked up the only copy in the store and sat down to read it before the store opened.

Then the store opened and I had to put it back :( So far, I reeealy like the story. But NO SPOILERS thank you very much!!

After that I helped price and shelve books, sometimes helped someone find a book. And I barely sat down because every time I did, I almost fell asleep.

So, between this, that, and the other, my day...crawled by. Isn't that how it always works when you're sleepy? Time passes soooo slowly.

Anyway, so now I'm home and I'm getting ready to go play World of Warcraft. Mists of Pandaria comes out in exactly one week from today. If you're a WoW nerd like me, then just by the title of my blog I'm sure you can guess how super uber WoW nerd-y I am. I am so excited about the new MoP expansion!


Anyway, time to go!

Cheers!

Monday, September 17, 2012

My Mostly Normal Day (with just a dash of Neil Gaiman)

Hello Blog readers! Thought I might blog about my day today. :)

So first of all, I got up waaaaaay earlier than I wanted to. My sister came and got me up at 7:30. My dad had to leave for work early, so she had set her alarm for seven. I would have probably gone back to sleep, except I had been dreaming about eating cheese toast. So, after she left my room, I sat straight up with one thought in my mind:

"I can eat cheese toast for breakfast!"

Well, I went downstairs and...we had no cheese.

No biggie. Ate rice pudding for breakfast  instead.

Then, Mom couldn't go to work today. She didn't feel so great.

We were supposed to babysit these kids we know this morning when she left for work, but it turns out they didn't need a sitter.

I won't bore you with telling you about the various (tedious) chores we did.

Then, we decided to go to Boone.

We live a about 45 minutes away. But we decided to go anyway. Mom felt better and either way, we needed food (meaning CHEESE) for our weekly Doctor Who party with our friends.


So, on our way into Boone, we saw some friends in the parking lot at the post office. Mim and I started yelling for mom to turn around so we could go say hi.

Not like we don't see some of them every week (at the previously mentioned Doctor Who party), but when you see some friends in a parking lot, who doesn't make an almost illegal u-turn to go see them and stand in the freezing cold rain for almost an hour?

So, after all that, we continued on into town. First, we stopped at the Boone mall were my dad works at Black Bear Books.


Then I went to the video game/movie store (also in the mall) and bought one of my favorite movies. Napoleon Dynamite.


After that, we went to eat dinner and I called my friend to invite her to my house for my birthday (coming up in three weeks exactly)

After that, went to Local Lion and got a Chai Latte. I have tried Chai at pretty much every place that serves it in the town of Boone. I'm trying to decide who has the best chai...

Then, we went downtown to Boone Saloon (no, I'm not old enough to drink, I'll only be 17 on my bday). This was my first experience in a bar. It smelled awful. 

So we were sitting there, at a table, watching these guys play pool. I've always thought it might be fun to play, but I've never really tried. Brown shirt guy (since we didn't know his name, my sister and I called him Brown shirt guy. The guy he was playing against was White shirt guy) made it look soooo easy.

Oh yeah, and did I mention, NEIL GAIMAN WAS THERE?

I LOVE Neil Gaiman!!



When I was much younger (about 7 or 8) we went to Charlotte to the mall there and waited in line until well after midnight to have him sign our books. My parents met because they were both wearing Sandman t-shirts. He is one of my little sister's earliest memories. And we saw him again tonight at the Boone Saloon.

Of course, me and my sister didn't get to stay. I'm almost three years older than her and I'm not 17 yet, so I'm sure you can understand why my parents decided not to let us stay at a bar after 7:00. Even when we were there, my dad loomed near us, making sure all was well.

Neil Gaiman is currently on the UNCHAINED tour. We got a picture of us in front of their bus.


(that's me in the blue sweater BTW).

After we left, my Dad got to go meet Neil Gaiman for a second time. While they were talking, he (dad) told Mr. Gaiman about how he and mom met. They talked for a long time and Dad even got to hug him!

Mom, who was on the phone with Dad not long after, told us that Neil Gaiman had told Dad to tell us hi, since we didn't get to say hi ourselves. He even said he was sorry we didn't get to stay.

Since we didn't stay, we left some pictures of the Doctor and Sexy (the TARDIS in a woman's body. You'll have to watch The Doctor's Wife to understand) and Neil Gaiman, hoping to get them signed.

Not only is Mr. Gaiman a genius author, but he also wrote an episode of Doctor Who (The Doctor's Wife). That just makes his even more awesome. Now, if only he would write for Sherlock...

Anyway, he did sign our pictures. He also said he really like Boone and thought he might come back.



Anyway, I have got to go to bed now. If I get up early enough, I'll get to go with my Dad to work in the morning when he pays the guys from UNCHAINED. And there's always that chance of getting to meet the epically awesome, really nice guy, Neil Gaiman. Wish me luck!

And BTW, we bought some cheese. CHEESE TOAST FOR BREAKFAST!

Cheers!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

SPOILER ALERT(kind of): Review of Sherlock

So, what shall I post today? How about another movie review? Or better yet, a television show review!

"But how? How a whole tv show?" you might ask.

I'll tell you: A review about a British show.

Because a 'season' in a British show can be three episodes long and it still counts as a season.

For example: Sherlock.

In fact, I believe thats what my review will be about. After all, there are only 6 episodes (and thats two seasons my dears).



So, this particular version of Sherlock Homes is a modern take on the stories by Arthur Conan Doyle. By the way, random factoid about Sherlock Holmes: Arthur Conan Doyle became Sir Arthur Conan Doyle because the Queen of England knighted him for his Sherlock stories.


Okay, now for the review.

I say review, but I am slightly biased. This is my favorite show at the moment.

So, as I said, this is a modern take on the story. As before, John Watson is a doctor. But in this version, he is an army doctor who was injured. In the beginning, he (Watson) is talking with his psychiatrist. Since he had been in war, her suggestion to him is to write a blog. She thinks this will aid him in re-adjusting to civilian life.

Well, John really has nothing to write.

One day, he is out walking (which is rather difficult since he has an injury and has to walk with a cane), when he meets an old friend.

They get to talking and John's friends mentions a guy who is looking for a flatmate.

So is John.

So his friend introduces John to a man at the morgue (he isn't dead, he's just doing some 'research' or something there). John lends the man his phone. With only looking at his phone and watching him walk into the room, the mysterious man can tell John has been to war, has a drunk brother (actually, its a sister, but he didn't know that at the time), and is looking for a flatmate.

This man, of course, is Sherlock Holmes.

So, he tells Watson to meet him at the a flat the next day. Its 22b Baker Street, the iconic home of Sherlock Holmes.



Of course, they get the flat. And the adventures begin.








Inspector Detective Lastraude (I believe that is how you spell his name) is stumped. There have been a string of apparent suicides.

Well, he can't figure out what's going on, so he calls Sherlock in on the case, and Watson tags along.

The most recent 'suicide' was a girl who was from the media 'judging by the frankly alarming shade of pink' she was wearing (this first case was called A Study in Pink, BTW). Sherlock figures that she must have an overnight bag somewhere, but its nowhere near the body.

So he goes on a hunt for her case.

Which of course he finds. He is, after all, the world's leading (and only) Consulting detective. He didn't become that for no reason.

In this case, Sherlock notices that the woman in pink's phone is missing. So he texts her phone (using John's phone of course. He doesn't want his to be tracked). And gets an answer.

I don't want to spoil the ending, so I'll leave the first episode at that. Mystery shows aren't as much fun when you know who the bad guy is. Of course, I'll re-watch it, but I've always loved Sherlock Holmes, and this version especially.

So, in the second episode, John and Sherlock have been friends for a while.




And John finally knows what to write on his blog. He takes to writing about the cases Sherlock has solved (in the books, it reads as if John is the author. In the show, he's the writer still, but he just blogs about it).

Again, I really don't want to spoil the story. Especially with episode three. Thats the end of the season. If I say much, it'll be major spoilers.

So, I'll just say this: if you like Irene Adler (the woman, as Sherlock says in the books), she is in the first episode of season two. This one is based off of A Scandal in Bohemia. I personally didn't watch that one. I am lucky enough to have parents who pre-watched that episode. Apparently, that one was a pretty inappropriate. But what can you expect from Irene Adler?

The second episode in season two is based on The Hound of the Baskervilles. I haven't read that one yet, but I can tell you, the show was pretty scary. Steven Moffat (the genius who wrote this version of Sherlock Holmes and all the best episodes of Doctor Who) has a thing for gas-mask episodes. And he really good at writing scary stuff. If you've ever seen The Empty Child (Doctor Who, season one), you'll know what I mean. 

The last episode of this season is the most recent of the whole show. I hate British shows for that reason. Three episode comprise an entire season...

Anyway, this last one was really sad. It was based off The Final Problem. If you've ever read that one, you probably have an idea of why its soooo sad. I was literally about to cry through almost the whole episode. Of course, I really can't say why, but I will say that Moriarty shows up in this one.

I really hate not writing more about each episode, but I think if I do, that will ruin pretty much the whole plot.

Even though I usually hate when someone tries to 'modernize' something, I really liked this one. Maybe because Steven Moffat did it. Maybe its because its Sherlock Holmes, and I love pretty much all things Sherlock. Maybe its because Martin Freeman plays John Watson.

Martin Freeman also plays Arthur Dent in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy







 And he plays Bilbo in the upcoming version of The Hobbit (which I am soooo excited about BTW!)


And of course, John Watson :)





I don't know. Either way, I love this show. Its defiantly worth watching, especially if you're a fan of Sherlock Holmes.

So, add Sherlock to your watch list!!



Cheers!

Friday, September 14, 2012

SPOILER ALERT: Movie review of TOMBSTONE

So, the last time I got a cold, my mom suggested that we watch Tombstone. She had been after me and my sister to watch it for a while, but I hate westerns. This one was different.

This movie has an all star cast. Val Kilmer plays the role of Doc Holliday (only the coolest guy in the whole movie). No one else on the planet could have pulled Doc off quite as well.





Anyway, so the movie starts out with these brothers who move to Tombstone, Wyatt Earp being one of them. Wyatt had been an officer of the law previously, but decided to try and make a life for himself and his common law wife, Maddie, out west.

Around the same time, Doc Holliday gets himself into some trouble in Texas for illegal gambling. So he and his wife decide to run off, so they head for Tombstone as well.

Wyatt's reputation for being a man of the law precedes him, so the Sheriff (if you can call him that, he isn't very good at his job), offers Wyatt a job, which he promptly declines. The Sheriff also offers Wyatt and his brothers cheap land within town limits. So Wyatt has a place to live, pretty much from the moment he rolls into town.

Then Wyatt goes into a bar and finds a trouble maker (no big surprise since the evil Cowboys rule the West) and throws him out, earning himself a new enemy, but also a place in the bar, sharing the earnings.

About this time, Wyatt runs into Doc. They already knew each other from previous encounters, and were friends.

While Doc and Wyatt are talking in the street, a wagon comes into town, carrying a bunch of actors, one of whom is a very beautiful woman who sets her sights on Wyatt.

Wyatt and his brothers very quickly become very rich. But with this new found wealth comes a bit of corruption. Wyatt doesn't seem to care about the people of Tombstone, even though the Cowboys are taking over and the people are living in terror.

Wyatt's brothers decide to do something and get sworn in. They help post a law that states that there are to be no firearms carried around within town limits.

Wyatt is livid. He tells his brothers that they weren't supposed to get involved. But they ignore him and he turns in his gun.

Later, the Cowboy problem gets worse. Johnny Ringo comes into town. And Ringo hates Wyatt. He wants to kill him, and if it wasn't for Doc, he probably would have.

Now, Doc has consumption. His doctor tells him to lay off the late nights, the drinking, the gambling, basically, change his life, or he will surely die. The reason that Doc even went out west in the first place was because he thought the drier air would cure him.

Even though he's a 'lunger', as they call him, Doc is still the best shot in Tombstone easily.

So when he hears about an angry, drunk group of Cowboys who come into town, he decided to go see what he can do to help.

Wyatt also wants to help, so he gets sworn in and is, once again, an officer of the law.

One of the best scenes in the whole movie comes next (not the best, that comes later). A legendary shoot out between the Cowboys and Wyatt's men takes place in the streets of Tombstone.

The Cowboys get killed. You would think the people of Tombstone would thank Wyatt and his boys, but instead they are angry that the Cowboys were murdered. Of course, if they were mad at anyone, it should have been Doc, because, although he's saved Wyatt life, and isn't a Cowboy himself, he still goes looking for trouble sometimes.

So, Wyatt is generally not liked in Tombstone. Ringo hates him that much more and wants to 'play for blood'. Doc steps in on Wyatt's behalf and offers to challenges Ringo. Ringo's friends know that Doc would kill him in a second and drag Ringo off, telling him to wait.

Some time passes. Then the Cowboys go and try to shoot some of the women. The actress who likes Wyatt hears about what is about to happen and tries to warn Maddie and the other women.

Then the Cowboys get Wyatt's brothers. One of them dies, the other is maimed for life.

Wyatt's wife, the drug-addicted Maddie, and her sisters-in law leave Tombstone and head back east, accompanied by Wyatt's remaining brother.

Wyatt stays in Tombstone, vengeance on his mind. So he and a group if his loyal friends (Doc is included among these friends BTW. His wife also went back east) decide to destroy the Cowboys.

This is the most epically awesome part in the whole movie. My favorite scene is near.

So, Wyatt and his men single handedly decimate the Cowboys, all the while the law is at their heels. This is a slaughter, you must remember.

Ringo, however, is still alive, and his hatred for Wyatt is burning hotter than ever. He sends Wyatt a message to meet him out by an oak tree, so they can finish what was started. In other words, 'play for blood'.

During this, Doc falls incredibly ill and they have to stop and ask for a place to stay at a farmer's home.

Doc asks Wyatt if he can borrow his badge (Wyatt is still an officer of the law), because Doc refuses to get sworn in.

"My hypocrisy only goes so far," are his words.

So Wyatt leaves to go in search of Ringo.

Unknown to him, Doc is also in search of Ringo.

When Ringo sees someone in the shadows, he thinks it is Wyatt, come to his challenge.

"I didn't think you would show," he says.

Doc steps from the shadows. "I'll be your huckleberry," are his words (BTW, he says that alot. Those are like, his thing to say.)

Ringo is shocked. And more than a little frightened. He knows Doc is the best shot in the west. He knows he can't beat him.

"I was only joking," says Ringo, in an attempt to save his hide.

Doc smiles. "I wasn't," he says.

Instead of me typing the whole scene, I'm just going to put a link to where you can watch it :)  Doc vs Ringo

Anyway, so after all that, Wyatt's boys finish off the Cowboys and end their rein of terror.

The end of the movie is really sad. Wyatt goes to visit Doc at the hospital, because Doc is dying.

Doc asks Wyatt to live for him, since he is dying young. He tells him to go after 'that spirited young actor' (meaning the actress who has had a crush on Wyatt through the whole movie).

So Wyatt leaves, because Doc doesn't want Wyatt to watch him die.

Since Maddie had gone back east, she had died of a drug over dose. So now Wyatt goes off to get his 'spirited young actor'.

This movie has such a great story. Of course, I would not recommend it for young viewers.  Since the story is about Cowboys and whatnot, there is a fair amount of cussing.

Now, you should go watch the movie. Don't say "But you already told me the whole story!", because I didn't. Its a loooong movie and I left out half of it. Mostly because I only told my favorite parts :)

And here, a special thanks to my very persistent mom who made me watch this movie last time I had a cold. I don't know why I ever decide I don't want to watch something that my mom likes. She also introduced me to Benny and Joon. And Doctor Who. And Smallville. And pretty much all of my favorites. Except Labrinth. That was Dad :)

So, anyone who reads this needs to go watch Tombstone. Especially if you like westerns or Val Kilmer.

Cheers!







Thursday, September 13, 2012

Third post in one day

Okay, I know I already posted today, but I just wanted to mention this one last thing.

I have a great Mom.

Thanks Mom.

Thats all. Just wanted to say that.

Cheers!

An alarming shade of pink: Whats my blogs about

An alarming shade of pink: Whats my blogs about: What am I going to do in my new blog? Well mostly take pictures and post them on my blog. I like to take pictures and I like to sha...

As I promised, a link to my sister's blog!!

Not Sherlock's Blogger

So, this is usually when I stop writing on my blog. Mostly because I can't think of anything interesting to write. But then I realized something: I'm not Sherlock's blogger. So my posts don't have to be about some crazy thing that happened. I can just write what my life is like. And that's not what John Watson's life is like.

SO, this is a plain ordinary blog post about an ordinary human life (I had to say human just in case I was mistaken for an alien. That could be bad).

S, I've decided to join our homeschool group's yearbook staff. I tried it out last year, but the yearbook never really went anywhere. I hope things will be different this year.

My sister also joined the yearbook staff, but she only wants to be a photographer. She's actually pretty good (especially since she has a little Walmart camera that eats batteries). I'll post a link to her blog that she hardly ever writes on later.

For the last two-ish years, I've been playing in the homeschool band. This is my first year since starting that I haven't gone back at the start of the school year. Of course, when I decided to sell my clarinet this past summer, I pretty much knew then that I wasn't going back.

When I was younger, I played piano. I still play sometimes, but not often. Every now and again I also pick up my guitar, but even that has gotten away from me. I've gotten busy (if playing World of Warcraft can count towards busy lol).

When I first picked up guitar, I only wanted to play my Dad's old electric guitar so I could play the Skillet song, Hero. My Mom decided to get me classical guitar lessons first, so I ended up playing classical and they bought me my own guitar.

A classical guitar differs from an acoustic guitar because the neck is shorter on a classical. Not that it matters that much if you aren't planning on becoming a pro or something like that.

I think this school year will be different from the last few. For one, as I've already said, I'm not going back to band. Or any of my art classes. Or P.E. I'm attempting to graduate next year, so I though it would be best if I could focus on other things, such as math, which is NOT my best subject.

I also wanted to learn more about WW2. There is soooo much information about that time that I could probably learn about it for the next few years and still not know all that I want to.

The best historian (or rather, the one that I like the most right now) is Winston Churchill. Especially on the subject of WW2. He was Britain's Prime Minister at the time after all.

It's kind of funny, but I think I know more British history than I do American, but that what happens when you watch Doctor Who I guess. :)

Anyway, that was my blog post for the day. Even though it was more of me just rambling on about random subjects...but like I said, I'm not Sherlock's blogger.

Cheers!!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Coyotes and 9/11

So last night our chickens got attacked by coyotes.

My sister heard the chickens freaking out so she told our parents and we went outside to see what was going on.

At first we couldn't find our rooster, Clark (yes, we name our chickens). When we found him, he was in a corner far away from the hens.

We tried to get him to go back into the coop, but he was injured and limping, so he knew that he would draw the coyotes back to the hens if he went back to the coop.

This morning we went back out to see what damage had been done, since it was really dark last night and we couldn't see very well.

We found 9 corpses under the bushes. Clark was nowhere to be seen. We found some of his beautiful feathers scattered around. He had made the ultimate sacrifice for his hens.

We named him Clark after Clark Kent, because Clark Kent is Superman and he defended people. We hoped that the rooster would do the same. He did.

We have three other roosters. Two adults and one still very young one. We named the youngest Clark Jr. The other two are Jack (named after Captain Jack in Doctor Who) and Gonzo (named after the muppet and the one who I raised from a chick).

We let the other roosters out of their cage today, praying that one (or both) will take up the vigil of protector. So far, Jack seems the most promising. Gonzo, my darling rooster, is more like a hen. He's really dumb and skittish around the other chickens. He's more of a people rooster (if there can be such a thing lol)

Its rather ironic that this disaster happened the day before the 11th anniversary of 9/11. Of course, this was no where near as devastating, but when 9/11 first happened, I was very young and didn't really know what was happening. I was only frightened because my teacher was.

But last night, when I was standing in the chicken coop amidst the scattered feathers, I knew what to be frightened of. I saw eyes, watching me out of a bush, mere feet from me.

You never know what it feels like to have something like this happen until it happens. In the Little House on the Prairie books, they had wolves howling around their house. They had animals attack their livestock. And then, when I was reading that, it was only a story, no different than another other fairy tale. But now, that story has taken on a bit more reality.

All I can say, is that I am so glad that God protected us last night when we went rushing outside into the chicken coop, armed with nothing more than three flashlights and two bee bee guns. Those killers where so near, I could hear them, in our garden. I am so grateful that me and my family came away unharmed.

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."-1 Thessalonians 5:18

So today, even though we have been devastated by predators that should not even be in the Appalachian mountains, and even though 11 years ago, hundreds lost their lives during 9/11, we must give thanks to God, our Lord and Creator, for His great mercies to us. 

Cheers!

Sunday, September 9, 2012

SPOILER ALERT: Book review of HATCHET.

This is my first post on this blog. Not my first blog, mind you, just first post on this blog. I am notorious for starting a blog and leaving after two or three posts. I plan to make this one different.

 For my first post, I am going to write a book review for my mother :)

Hatchet was written by a man named Gary Paulsen and first published in 1987. While the book is not very well written, the story is genius. Within the first few chapters, you forget that this guy can't write very well.

At the start of the story, a guy named Brian Robeson is flying on a bush plane to visit his dad in Canada. His parents had got a divorce not long before that and this was the first time Brain was going to see his dad.

So, just Brian and the Pilot are on this tiny plane. In the several hours he had been there, the Pilot had not spoken a word. When he finally does, Brain decides he's a pretty nice guy, after all, he did let Brain fly the plane for a moment.

So they're just flying along when suddenly, the Pilot has a heart attack. He accidentally jerks the plane off course, then not long after, dies.

So now Brian is all alone, in a plane that has gone off course, and only knows what the Pilot just told him about flying planes. Trouble? Yeah. (BTW, side note here. I thought I was going to die just reading this part, I was freaking out that much. I already forgot how badly it was written.)

Brian tries to contact someone, but by the time he actually does, he is almost out of range. So he loses the signal. He's all alone, flying a plane (pretty successfully I might add), and he can't contact anyone.

Brian flies for a couple of hours, figuring he might see a town or something, but all he sees is the Canadian wilderness. Mile after mile of trees. Then he realizes he is going to have a problem: the plane will run out of gas. It was only a small plane after all, and he had no clue where he was headed, now that he was off course, and on top of all that, he had kept the plane flying for hours. Sooner or later he would run out of fuel. Then what?

Brain decides there is only one thing to do: land the plane. There were lakes everywhere, so he decides to land in a lake.

During the chapter when he is trying to land the plane, I thought my heart might stop. Everything is going against this poor guy. When he finally tries to land the plane, he can't find a lake anywhere.

Eventually he crash-lands in a huge lake and barely makes it to safety. The plane sinks, along with the Pilot's body, the emergency supplies, Brian's stuff, everything except the clothes Brian is wearing and a hatchet his mom had given him as a parting gift. He had clipped it to his belt and forgot to take it back off.

So, for the next few days, Brian is miserable. Mosquitoes eat him alive, he has bruises and bangs all over from the crash, he has nothing to keep him warm and protected except his torn-up jacket, and on top of all that he's starving.

For the first day, Brian sleeps. All day pretty much. Then, when he wakes up. he's dying of thirst. So he drinks the only water available to him, the lake water, trying not to think of the Pilot's body decomposing at the bottom of the lake.

Brian hopes that he will be found by a rescue team in the next few days, so he dosen't really worry too much about food or shelter.

When, on his third day, he hasn't been found, he goes in search of food. He finds some berries that he gorges on, then finds a cool rock that makes good shelter. So that night, he goes to sleep, pretty sure he'll be fine.

Well, in the middle of the night, he wakes up, sick as a dog. So he loses all the food he ate earlier. He realizes maybe he shouldn't have ate the pits when he ate the berries.

Over the next little while, Brian builds himself a better shelter and finds some better food (raspberries). He thinks he's doing great.

Then one night, a porcupine comes into his shelter in the middle of the night. He kicks it and is left with spines in his leg. So he decides to build a more secure shelter.

Soon, he also realizes he needs a fire. So he figures out how to use his hatchet to get some sparks. Of course, sparks don't make a fire by themselves. In the end, he discovers a way to start a fire, and through the most of rest of the story, he keeps the same fire going.

The next night, Brian wakes up to a strange noise. He discovers a turtle has buried her eggs in the sand on the banks of the lake. Since his store of raspberries is almost depleted, Brian decides to try a raw turtle egg. After the first one, it wasn't so bad, so he ate about half. After that, he buries them back in the sand to save for later.

So next, Brian discovers there are fish in the lake. So he sets out to somehow catch them. He eventually builds a spear to try and catch them. It didn't work. He tried everything he could think of, but the fish were just to fast. So he goes to pick more berries instead. Along the way, he stops to get some wood to make himself a bow, thinking that would work better than his fish spear.

While he was in the woods, he hears a plane overhead. So he rushes back to his camp where he has a bonfire ready to be lit, just in case a plane should pass by. He gets it lit, but too late. The plane has passed by and didn't see him.

That night, Brian gets depressed and tries to kill himself, sure that he will die in the wilderness anyway. All this time the only thing that has kept him going was the thought of being rescued. Now he is sure that it will never happen.

The next morning, Brian awakes a new man (a new teenager I should say, he is only like, 14 or something, but new man sounds better than new teenager). He decides he has a reason to keep going.

So, Brain keeps going. He figures out how to catch the fish. He even figures out how to catch birds to eat. He becomes more in tune with his surroundings. The animals around no longer scare him because he knows they don't want to bother with him any more than he wants to bother with them.

Then, one day while he is out hunting a bird, a moose attacks him and almost drowns him. He is pretty sure he has broken a rib or two. That night, a tornado rips everything away.

Brian is devastated. Everything he has worked so hard for, blown away. But not only bad came from the tornado. The tail end of the plane has been pulled up out of the water. And Brian knows that the emergency pack is in the plane.

After fixing up his camp, Brian builds a raft to take out to the plane wreck.

After finally figuring out that he can use his hatchet to cut open the plane's exterior, Brian gets to work. And drops his hatchet in the water. He dives down to get it, but is unsuccessful the first time. The water seems too deep. After another try, he gets his hatchet back and gets back to work.

When he cuts a hole big enough, Brian gets in the plane and dives down, looking for the emergency pack.  When he finds it he hurries back to shore to examine the contents.

He firearms, ammunition, matches, soap, a fishing rod, tons of food and some device that he is unsure of. He messes with it a moment, then puts it down and turns his attention to the food.

Even though he knows he should ration it, Brain decides to feast first. So he fixes himself all kinds of things that he hasn't eaten in such a long time.

And a plane lands. Using floats, it lands in the water right in front of him. Although he doesn't know it, the device he had been messing with was an emergency transmitter, and he had accidentally turned it on. A nearby plane had heard the signal and come to his aid.

All told, Brian had been alone in the woods for 54 days.

After I had finished the book, I wondered how Brain fit back into society. I mean, he had been in survival mode for all that time, then he came back and could live a normal life again. If I had been in that situation, I wonder how long could I have held out?

Anyway, it was an interesting story. Like I said, it was written pretty terribly, but I didn't notice by the end. Other people might not notice at all, but I am a little bit of a book snob, so what can I say? :) Hatchet is definitely worth a read. Even though I just old most of the story, there are, I'm sure, things I left out.


Anyway, I think a lot of the posts on this blog will probably book and movie reviews. So don't read them if you don't want the story spoiled ;) 

Cheers!



 




Writer's View: The Power of a Word

"What's in a name? that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet." -Juliet Capulet, Romeo and Juliet ...