A Guide to Understanding the Writer in Your Life

I am a writer. And I am very aware that I don't see the world like most people.

It's been brought to my attention time and again that I see the world through a different lens than most people. I don't know if it's because I am a writer that I see it this way, or I am a writer because I see the world differently. Perhaps it was a learned behavior, or perhaps it was written in the stars from the dawn of time. Who ever really knows with these things?

Having a writer in your family can be hard (I assume, I am the writer in my family, but I've been told it's difficult). So I came up with a list of things that writers go through, so that those of you that are wondering what's going on behind those tired, crazy eyes of ours can understand why we act like insane people. Because we're not actually insane, we only act like we are sometimes.

So here are 11 things that are things you need to know about the Writer in your life.

1. We don't write the stories, the stories use us to write themselves. And no, this isn't just me. A lot of writers say the same thing. The best stories are always the ones that surprise the author as much as the reader. I swear, the characters are their own people.
2. We don't approve of everything our characters do. The main character in my newest book A State of Gray is always getting herself into really stupid trouble. It's usually her own fault, and there's been many times that I'm just as frustrated with her poor choices as the readers.
3. We use everything we see, hear, or experience for our writing. You know that joke that anything you say or do may be used in my next novel? Yeah, well that's truer than you'd think. I have the thought "Oh cool, I can use this in a book sometime" at least 20 times a day. And that's just for ordinary things.
4. We forget that our story isn't reality sometimes. When I'm deep in the trenches, I honestly don't have any concept of reality. I am my charters, and the world they live in is reality. That's why you should never approach a writer when they're writing. Startling them can result in extreme confusion and intense staring for several minutes.
5. We sometimes detach from reality. Yes, sometimes it's an escape method from a tough situation, but usually the reason we are zoning out is actually because a plot just starting forming in our minds and we get trapped writing it in our heads. So it's not on purpose, it's the plot using us. We aren't ignoring you on purpose, it just kind of happens.
6. We have about a million lives going on in our heads. Ever met a writer who seems like they have multiple personality disorder? That's because there isn't a single person in their head, there's a million. All those characters that we've ever written, or ever will write, are talking all the time. Just because their story ended on paper, doesn't mean they go away. Not for us.
7. We talk to 'ourselves'. Okay, I'm not really talking to myself, I'm talking to someone in my story, but nobody else can see that, and so I get it when you give me a weird look as I walk through Walmart, muttering half a very heated conversation under my breath. But you should know, it's not my fault, they started it.
8. We have incriminating browser history. No, I'm not planning on murdering someone. I needed to know what it was like though. And no, I'm probably not going to own a cable company. But this girl in my story is about to. So if you see a writer's browser history, don't be alarmed. It's totally normal. Mostly.
9. We have overactive imaginations. This one is pretty self-explanatory. We have to, in order to create an entire fictional universe. And it always is surprising when normal people don't see the things we see. It's a blessing, because we see outside of the natural world, but also a curse, because a horror movie sticks in our heads and terrifies us so much worse than it's intended to.
10. We forget that everyone else isn't like us. Talking to normal people can be jarring sometimes. Other people just don't understand what it's like to have a story take over. It's like being possessed, and other people find that extremely weird and unbelievable. It's a lonely road sometimes, feeling like a crazy person with your imaginary friends, knowing that no sane human can breach through the wall that your imaginary friends put up around you.
11. When we do finally let you read our work, we are at our most vulnerable. Imagine someone cutting you open and reading your heart. That's what it feels like when we hand someone our work. It's one of the scariest things a writer can do, and if we're letting you read our work, especially if it's unedited, it means we trust you with our very souls. When we write, we aren't just putting words on a page. We are bleeding our very essence into those letters, and handing them off to be judged is like letting your mom go through your uncensored browser history. So be gentle with us.

I'm sure it's tough being related to, friends with, or married to a writer. When we're not in a the middle of writing, you know that we're here for you, in the moment. But sometimes something overtakes us, and you loose your friends and loved ones. We vanish for hours, sometimes days at a time, clacking away at our (sometimes) proverbial typewriters, lost in a world that you cannot possibly breach until we are ready to let you in.

What we really want everyone to know is that we do love you, and appreciate your attempts to get us to go outside and be part of the normal world. And we will, whenever we need more fuel for our next book. But in the meantime, while we're typing away, just know we haven't forgotten that you exist, and we will come out of our writing coma eventually, but it's going to be in our own time.

And that might not be for a while. So get comfortable.

Cheers!