But at the end, you're like, a foot taller. And you're like "hey, that was totally worth it."
Of course, there's still repercussions once the pain is over. Like buying new clothes because you outgrew all your old favorite jeans. And your toes getting squished in your old, favorite sneakers that you can't wear anymore. So it's out with all of last summer's clothes and time for new everything.
While getting new things is fun and exciting, sometimes getting rid of your favorite t-shirt is really hard. You've made a lot of memories in that shirt. It may be covered in stains and full of holes and desperately too small, but each stain is a reminder of where you've been, each hole is a memory of what you've done. It hurts when you pack it in a box and take it away.
I haven't hit a physical growth spurt in a really long time, so the only reason I have to get rid of clothes now is when I've literally worn them until they are threads. I don't outgrow my shoes, I am still wearing the same boots that I was wearing two winters ago.
But I still remember how much I hated finding out that my favorite clothes from last year would never fit me this year. It was always disappointing to open a box of my old clothes, hold up a shirt, and know that I could never wear it again.
But it was still kind of exciting to know that I would be getting new clothes. I would be able to make new favorites, make new memories in my new clothes. New shoes that had never seen my favorite places yet.
Since I don't have to worry about outgrowing my clothes anymore, I don't ever bother packing my summer clothes away for the winter. I know that I can wear the same clothes now as I will be able to wear next summer. Maybe just layer everything.
I wear the same things now as I wore all summer. But that doesn't mean that winter is the same as summer.
I miss the summer. I miss being able to wear a t-shirt and a skirt and not have to worry about jackets and tights and boots and socks and all the other winter gear. I miss splashing around in the creek. I miss seeing my friends every day. I miss laying in sunshine on the trampoline. I miss climbing trees. I miss running around the woods in the rain.
I miss last winter too though. I miss going to the library every week with my sister. I miss the smell of all those old books. I miss the stories I was reading, the special feeling I got from them. I miss watching TV with my friends. I miss the people that I were in my life then. I miss my dad being at home more often.
I know that life has to keep moving forward. And I know that it happens every day. I know that things change. But sometimes it just hits me that everything that used to be is gone and the future lays on the horizon.
I mean, for goodness sake, even One Direction has changed. If you have heard their music, you know that they have a pretty specific sound. You can hear them on the radio and know who they are. But their last album sounded so different, like they're trying to change their sound. I know it's silly, but when I heard Midnight Memories, it made me sad.
Growing Pains are there only when you're actually growing. And you can't stop growth, no matter how many times your parents and grandparents try to push your head down to make you shorter again. It doesn't work that way. But you don't have to acknowledge the fact the it's happening. You can keep wearing your pants too short. You can let your shirts be too tight. You can let you toes get cramped in your shoes.
But that wouldn't be very comfortable. You have to adapt to the growth if you don't want to feel uncomfortable, and look ridiculous.
Summer time has it's own special beauty, that's undeniable. The water sparkles differently in the summer. The sky shines differently. The wind blows differently. The jovial sounds are special to the summer, the smells are special. Summer things belong to the summer.
Winter time has it's own special beauty too. The water freezes into ice and snow and glitters instead of sparkling. The sky takes on a deeper, darker, more intense color. The wind blows special to winter. The serene sounds are special to winter, the smells are special. Winter things belong to the winter.
Life is going to keep marching on, and you're going to have to go along with it. How you go is your choice though, you can either go kicking and screaming, or you can throw resistance to the wind and throw your hands in the air and run down the path.
I was laying awake in my bed, thinking about people that I miss. Suddenly it hit me. Everything is different. And the future is staring me straight in the face. And I got scared.
I mean, I'm usually pretty calm about the future. I mean, that's in the future, I don't usually think too much about it. I mean, I daydream about stuff that I know will never happen, like becoming a celebrity. But I never really think about the future that I know is coming. There are some things that we can never see coming, but there are some things that you can watch progressing.
I've never been quite so scared of my own future. But the future never felt so close. Most of my life, things have been pretty samey. One day blended into the next, broken up only by the games me and my sister played, the movies we watched, the friends we saw.
But it's all different. It's sooooo different. It's scaring me a little bit.
But as I said, the future is going to happen whether I want it to or not. You can't hide from the seeking hand of time. You either can lay down and cry like a baby while it takes you, or you can bravely face whatever life throws at you.
Bravery is not the absence of fear, but being able to face your fear head on and say 'come at me bro'.
So what am I going to do? I'm going to face tomorrow with the bravery of a soldier. I'm not going to try and hide from life, I'm going to embrace it.
Life is so scary sometimes, when new things are happening. I always want an adventure, but when something really does happen that is new, it scares me. But I'm going to take the adventure and run with it.
I just have to trust God. He knows where I'm going. I have no idea, but that's part of the adventure. I'll hold the hands that are offered to me on this journey, but I won't hold so tightly to the past that I can't move forward. Thar doesn't mean I'll ever forget all those good times I had. I won't forget the bad times either. I'll learn, I'll use what I've seen and done and been through to keep growing, even if that growing hurts.
This was really hard to write. And yes, I am writing this mostly for myself. But I am going to share this, because I want other people to know that you aren't alone if you're scared of your future. I am too. A lot of us are.
But we can do this. Every day is a new beginning. Every day is a new chance to become yourself and live life to it's fullest potential. Don't loose an opportunity because you're scared to take it. Take that chance while you can, it'll be gone before you know it.
Love you guys, you can do this.
We can do this.
Cheers!!!!!
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