After a little while, I decided to look out my window, which for some reason always makes me sleepy.
At some point during the day, a spider had crawled up onto the outside of my window and built herself a beautiful web.
(no, this is not the one outside my window, but I can't get a picture of that one, you'll just have to trust me that it was beautiful.)
I watched as the web bent and swayed with the wind. I was amazed because, while it bent, it didn't break. It was beautiful and delicate, but also extremely strong.
I started thinking about how I want to be like that, strong, but also still beautiful and delicate. I don't want to be a weakling who folds whenever any kind of stress comes my way, but I also don't want to be hard and cold.
It's a tricky thing, finding the balance between the two. On the one hand, you get girls who are extremely strong in their beliefs and will never be swayed, but those girls also tend to be loud mouth and rough.
Then you have girls who are more gentle and feminine, but they tend to be delicate in the way that means that they are very easily offended, and sometimes they also are no good when it comes to hard work, because they are physically too weak.
I don't want to be too much of one or the other. I want to be strong for the tasks I have, and since I have no brothers, I have to be stronger than I would if I had a brother to handle some of the harder tasks at my house.
But I also want to still be feminine. I'm pretty sure a lot of my friends kind of see me as 'one of the guys' already, so I clearly have a bit of difficulty being feminine.
So while I was staring at the beautiful spider web, I started praying that the Lord would make me strong and not breakable, but also still like...well, like a girl.
So I laid there and prayed, and somehow my prayers turned to other subjects.
I started thinking about how even though I say that I will never get married or have children, I know that I really hope that I will. I say that I won't, I think, as a protection for myself, because sometimes I fear that I never will get married or have my own family.
So I started asking God, is the reason that I have been thinking so much about weddings and babies and families lately was because He was preparing me for getting married one day soon?
And as I laid there, waiting for an answer, I realized something.
I was talking to God, but I wasn't listening at all.
People do that all the time. We pray all the time, asking for things, giving praise, praying for other people, but we hardly ever listen.
And no, I don't mean stand outside and listen or anything.
God gave us His Word so we could listen to him. But how often do we actually listen?
This thought occurred to me, so I decided to get up out of my bed and listen.
I went and got my Bible and randomly opened it. It fell open to the book of Daniel. Actually, it opened to the story of Daniel in the lion's den.
As I read, I had started thinking about how brave Daniel was. He was in a place of power, placed there by the king. He respected the king, even though he was in a pagan culture. The corrupt men who were also in power tried to get their evil law passed, which made Daniel a criminal. Daniel followed the other laws of the land, and only disobeyed the ones that went against God's law. Even though he had a death threat hanging over his head, Daniel still continued to follow God's law. God protected him because Daniel stayed faithful throughout his trials.
After that, I flipped somewhere else, which I think may have also been in Daniel. It was about how Israel was going through trials, but the Lord was going to bring his beloved out of slavery and bring them back into the Promised Land, because He gives His beloved rest.
Then, I flipped to one of the letters written by Paul. I don't remember which one. It was about how when a woman get's married, she follows her husbands lead, instead of her parents, but she doesn't forget what her parents taught her. It's the same with the Law. Whenever Christ came, we were no longer under the Law, but that doesn't mean that we should totally ignore it and run around sinning.
I don't remember where the last thing I read was, but I remember that it made me smile. It was something about waiting, and that the Lord will bring us what we need in the time that we need it.
After I was done reading, I thought about what I read. It seems to me that the Lord is preparing me for a very hard time. With the government shut down and everything happening the way it is happening, I think we're headed for some hard times.
I think that, because of what I read, God is telling me to be strong in my faith in the times ahead, because something hard is coming. He is also telling me to wait, because He will bring me what and who I need only when I need them.
This morning, I debated for a little while about if I should share what I discovered last night. I decided to pray about, and read my Bible.
I opened to Daniel (I don't know what it is about the book of Daniel!) and read about how Daniel had written something down, and it was sealed up, not to be opened until the end of time.
I also read about how the Lord was using Daniel to tell the children of Israel not to worry, because the hard times would not destroy them completely, and to take heart, because soon He would bring them back to Israel, to take their inheritance, and anyone who came against them would die and the Lord would protect his children.
The whole thing was very encouraging. Even though hard times are coming, the Lord will strengthen those who stand with Him, and will deliver them out of it, and bring them to a place where they have peace. All we have to do is wait for His timing, and continue to follow His law. He will bring us what we need when we need it, we don't have to worry about it at all.
I thought that sharing this experience might help to encourage someone else. I hope that this will bless whoever reads it.
Stay Strong!
Cheers!
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