I have. I have always preferred the company of guys instead of girls. I always told myself that it's because girls are so dramatic, or they don't like me, or I don't like the way they dress, or some excuse like that.
I know the truth. It's because I like the attention I get from my guy friends better. Not that I dislike my girl friends, but, we all know that girls like the attention of guys.
When I was little, my mother told me to be careful, because boys and girls cannot be friends.
I always laughed at her, I was friends with plenty of boys! When she first told me that, one of my best friends was a boy!
The earliest guy friend that I really remember having is still my friend today, but we are not as close as we used to be. We only see each other occasionally, but our whole families are friends, so it's not as weird as it seems.
When we were younger, we were pretty much 'best friends'. That didn't last long. Despite the fact that we were 6 or 7, we ended up 'dating' because we really liked each other.
Recently, I was reading through an old journal of mine, and I found an entry saying how happy I was that I had made friends with this other guy, because there was no pressure of us liking each other or dating or anything.
I just had to stop and laugh at myself, because only a few entries later I was saying how much I really liked him. We had gone from being 'just friends' to 'close friends', not even best friends.
Me and a friend of mine were talking one day, complaining about how often we want to be best friends, or even just close friends with a guy, but either he ends up liking us, or we end up liking him.
I used to think it was a curse, that it was the height of annoying, because I couldn't be friends with boys. I wanted one of those 'relationships' where we could tell each other secrets and hang out and hug and stuff and there be nothing between us.
But I realized that my mother was right, that just never really happens.
Sure, I *know* lots of boys, and would even say we were friends, but not friends in the way I am with my girl friends.
With a girl friend, I can tell her stuff about me, we can hang out all the time, spend the night at each other's houses, hug each other when we're lonely, share secrets.
It's different with my guy friends. We can have a conversation, sure, talk to each other when run into each other in town, I would say even go visit, if our families are visiting, but even then that's pushing it.
What happens when a boy and girl are best friends, or even just spend a lot of time together? Think about any movie or television show you've ever seen when a boy and girl are best friends. One or both of them end up falling in love with the other.
What I wanted to happen is never what will happen. God made boys and girls to be attracted to one another, so when we spend a lot of time together, share secrets, hold hands, what do you think will happen?
Mulder and Scully, from X-files. They were just partners in the beginning, Scully didn't even like Mulder at all. But as time went on, they spent almost all of their time together, they shared experiences, a lot of them life threatening. They ended up falling in love, and anyone who watched the show really wanted that to happen.
Scooby Doo. In Mystery Inc, Shaggy and Velma fall in love, because they have been, if not best friends, close to each other all those years. I know I for one had been waiting for that to happen since I started watching Scooby Doo.
October Baby. Hannah and Jason, best friends since childhood, fall in love, after going on a road trip together.
Even Austin and Ally, a Disney show. In the beginning, Disney was trying to say that Austin and Ally would just be friends, partners in writing and singing music. But everyone who watches that show is dying for Austin and Ally to fall in love, and you can see in the begging, that even though they are supposedly 'just friends', they are more than that, they are already falling in love.
I'm not saying that boys and girls need to *avoid* each other, because then they can never fall in love and then the human race would die out.
What I am saying is that I've been crazy all this time, complaining that I wanted a boy best friend, who is only my friend and nothing ever happens between us. I got annoyed whenever a boy starts to flirt with me or act like he likes me. Now I realize how silly that was.
Boys and girls are made to like each other, so that is what they are going to do. God created us this way and he delighted to do it, so why should I complain about it?
What I *can* and *should* do is realize that I cannot be as close to all of my guy friends as I am with my girl friends. One day, when I meet my special guy, I'm sure he would not appreciate it if I had shared all my secrets and affection, even if it was just friendly affection, with all the other boys I know.
One day, I will be best friends with a guy, but he will be *my* special guy.
So Mom, I'm sorry for not believing you for all those years, about boys and girls and the way things are, you were right. Thanks for sharing that with me.
Even though this is sometimes a hard topic, not being really close friends with the opposite gender, I think it is worth it.
And I'm sure one day your special someone will thank you.
Cheers!
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