American Christians

The country I live in, the infamous United States of America, is a predominately Christian nation. We're the land of the free, we're welcome, and even encouraged to be anything we want: Christians, Buddhists, Muslims, Atheists, anything we can think of. Nobody is forced into Christianity, not by any means, it's chosen because people want it.

The great thing about being a Christian in this country is that you still have plenty of space to pursue that freedom that America is so proud of. The term 'Christian' can be applied to almost anything you're doing and that thing automatically becomes acceptable to the majority of the population.

Take for example, when you're in a band. Just as long as you mention the Christian's god, Jesus, in an interview at least once, or sing about grace and forgiveness (one song is probably enough), then you can get the 'Christian Music' label. Then you can sing about whatever you want, and it's automatically more wholesome than the Pop garbage on the radio.

Another example is romance novels. If you want to write a steamy romance novel, go ahead, just make sure that the main character quotes the Bible, and maybe learns their lesson or becomes a convert to Christianity by the end, then it will all be fine. Just warning you though, if you don't want the Christian label as a music artist or an author do not sing about God or write anything about the Bible. Because the Christians will adopt you and you won't have any say in the matter. You'll become part of the Christian culture and you'll never be able to break out.

Another great thing about being a United States Christian is that Christians are usually so accepting. Unlike in other religions where you all follow the same rules, the God of the Christians says that you can 'come as you are', and in a lot of churches, you can stay as you are! Why? Because grace!

That's not to say that there are no rules among Christians, of course there are. But different sects of Christianity follow different rules. (Note: when Christians say 'sin', that means it's against the rules. Not always the rules of the Bible, mind you, sometimes they make up the rules, but nobody is quite sure which rules are from the Bible and which ones aren't anymore, so they just go with whatever the Pastor says.)

If you're a Baptist, for example, you can't drink. Baptists say that alcohol is of the devil. And in the Bible Belt of the South, Baptists also usually say that being Gay is a sin.

But, if you belong to a non-denominational Mega-church (which are just really big churches where nobody can get to know everybody else), then they will often accept you if you're Gay, or a drunk, or if your face is so pierced that you can't see the skin.

Of course, it's probably going to be easier to break it down into the two biggest factions of the Christian church, if you're new to this American Christianity. The Protestants and the Catholics.

The Protestants are supposedly the people who came to America in the first place, because they didn't want to be Catholic anymore. They didn't follow the Catholic traditions and only did what the Bible said.

The Catholics are the big church that you see in all the movies. The ones with the gold crucifix hanging in the back of the church, the ones with the holy water and the Pope and all the very very very religious feeling stuff.

Now, if you are thinking about becoming an American Christian, you have to pick a side. You can still be friends with the opposing faction, but you can't be the opposing faction, and you can't really approve of them either.

Now of course, if you become a Catholic, you basically have the corner market on everything. And really, you know that the Protestants are really kind of just slightly rebellious Catholics because they still celebrate all the Catholic holidays and still wear the Catholic jewelry, and still say all the Catholic phrases and stuff. They just don't want to wear the Catholic name, they're just like rebellious teenagers, and you'll be fine with that, you just keep crossing yourself and doing your hail Marys and you'll be fine.

If you're a Protestant, you have a lot more freedom than if you're a Catholic. You don't have to do what the Pope says, you don't have to do what anyone says, you're under Grace now, and you're going to be able to use that to your advantage. As long as you show up in church on the Venerable Day of the Sun...I mean, Sunday, you can do whatever you want. Of course, you don't want to get caught doing certain things, that wouldn't look good, but most of the other church members will look the other way, especially if you're the all powerful Pastor.

Either way, you have a lot of Freedom. This is America after all, and we ain't judging. Judge not lest ye be judged, right? Tolerance is the thing. Honestly, the best thing to do is pick a sect that already agrees with whatever you're doing and join them. Then, if you don't like something about them, you can go do something else. It's not like you have to stick to one set of rules or anything.

Yep, being an American Christian is basically the best thing ever. All you have to do is accept that Jesus, the guy who spoke in Shakespearean English and never ever made sense, died for you so that Grace could happen and you can keep on doing whatever you want, since he already did it for you. Also, if you want to be a good Christian, although this isn't necessary, pray over your meals and before you go to bed, go to Church on Sunday and Wednesday, involve your kids in those awkward, sexually tense, and veeery tempting youth group activities, wear the Christian tshirts (these are similar to the YOLO shirts or the #Swag shirts for everyone else), and listen to Christian music. But really, just as long as you put 'Christian' as your religion on Facebook and read the Bible on Christmas and Easter, then you're fine.

Cheers!