The War Between Parents

Motherhood is one of the most controversial topics on the planet.

"When are you gonna have kids?"

"Are you still having kids?! Don't you know how that works?"

"You are staying home with them, right?"

"When are you getting back to work?"

"Bottle-fed? Do you want them to die?"

"Ew, don't feed your baby here, nobody wants to see your boobs!"

The list goes on.



Everyone has their own opinion on how you should raise your children (especially the random, childless strangers who have no qualifications what-so-ever). From the moment they are announced, people are going to try and tell you how to do things.

My son will be 8 months old on Tuesday, and already I've had more unsolicited advice than I have cared for.

Sometimes, the advice is warranted, like when I have no idea if I can give my baby eggs. He has an insatiable appetite, regular baby food and milk just don't cut it for this munchkin. He's an eating machine. He was eating baby food from 4 months on. But baby food is insanely expensive, so 95% of the time, I just give him smaller pieces of what I'm eating. And yes, my parenting has been questioned a time or two on this one.

'Is he old enough to be eating that?'

A well meaning question, but I could do without the look of utter horror in your eyes as I'm feeding him a scrambled egg and chicken nuggets. I know it seems like toddler food, and maybe for some kids, they wouldn't be ready for it until toddler age, but I can't keep up with the feeding demands on my hefty little man.

Each family is different, just as each child is different. What works for you might be a disaster with my kid. Some parents have the luxury of buying only organic foods and giving their children only the most perfect and balanced of diets, while others are just struggling to get food one the table, so frozen pizza and chicken nuggets is all they can bring. But be sure that organic lamb chops with a wilted kale salad (is that even a thing?) or hot wings and pizza both came from a loving parent who gives their babies the best they can offer.

If I am letting my kid play in (and probably eat) the grass, don't start yelling something about germs at me. He likes to be outside, he likes grass and leaves. He goes insane when he's been stuck inside, and then that makes me insane. But equally, I won't be judging you if your little precious bundle-o-joy never sees more than sky from their stroller. For all I know, your kid might hate the feeling of grass tickling their feet.

It's important to remember that other parents all feel as clueless and scared of ruining their children's lives as we are. Really, this battle that is mommyhood (and daddyhood) should unite us as fellow soldiers. We aren't just fighting against the fatigue that constantly threatens to take over, we are fighting a world that hates our children. This constant bickering between all us fellow clueless parents is ridiculous.

Obviously, sometimes there are parents out there that are doing something that could be potentially dangerous to their children. Not everyone keeps their child's well-being in mind all the time. Those parents also like to spit out the 'don't judge how I'm raising my children.' Those parents are probably the same people that got angry if you told them something they were doing was dangerous as teenagers and young adults.

Of course, everyone's idea of 'dangerous' can vary. Some people think that not getting your baby their shots is the same as beating them, while others believe that vaccinations come straight from Satan himself. That's one of those things that you really can't call CPS about, that is something that is up to the parents.

But actually beating a child? Well, that's wrong in everyone's book.

Shy of actually beating your child or giving them drugs though, there's a lot of wiggle room in parenting. Some moms are able to work out, keep a clean house, get their kids good food, and still have time to love on their husband at the end of the day (I'm told these women exist, I've only ever caught a glimpse of one, they're like unicorns). Other moms just barely manage to get dinner on the table and the snot wiped off the baby's face before they collapse into bed.

Really, the only thing that matters at the end of the day is that you love on your little dirt-monsters. If you're happy, and they're happy, that's the only thing that's important. If happiness means playing in the snow then drinking hot coco while watching movies with mommy, then that's what you need to do. If happiness is staying inside where it's warm and reading by themselves while you nap, that's cool too.

And remember, every child is different, just as every family is different. Different stages of life call for different things from mommy. Sometimes they are gonna need you to hold their hand for two hours so they can stand there and scream and laugh at a chair, sometimes they need you to leave them alone to do their schoolwork. But no matter what, you love your children, you love them with everything that is in you.

Cheers!